creative writing

Red Writing Hood – For Sale

Stanky socks for sale

Omigosh. There THEY are again! Why do I have to come home every night to them?

After a long day of work, when I walk through the door, these stanky old socks are not the first thing I want to see next to the front door!

As I look around for my husband the next question I ask myself is, “Why does he have to leave his socks here?”

No one in the living room. No one in the kitchen. No one in the dining room.

“Anyone home?” I scream.

A couple minutes later, I hear the toilet flush in the upstairs bathroom.

“Hi Hunnie. How was your day?”

“It’d be better if those stinky socks of yours weren’t sitting on the floor next to the door,” as I point to them and give him the evil eye.

“Oh, right. I meant to move those before you got home.”

“Why do you have to leave them there in the first place?” I asked

He shrugs and looks at me with those dark eyes of his, “I feel relief when I take them off,” then walks to the door to pick up his stinky socks. He glances at me and says, “It’s not like we’re having guests over.”

“That’s not the point! I don’t want to come home to your stinky socks! Why can’t you just take them off upstairs and leave them in the hamper?”

He stops on the stairs and turns around to look at me, “Because then I’d have to walk all the way upstairs. When I come home, I want to take off my socks and sit in front of TV. What’s the big deal?”

“I just don’t want to smell dirty, sweaty, stanky socks when I walk through the door after a long day at work,” I yell back, “If I come home tomorrow and they’re there, all your socks are going out the door.”

And that’s what happened yesterday. Today… I came home and the stanky socks were at the door again. But, instead of throwing them out, I’ve decided to make a little cash and spend it on a manicure.

So, I’m selling these stanky socks – 45 pairs (20 pairs white crew socks and 25 black Polo socks) for $20. That’s enough for my mani and pedi.


This is a work of fiction and was written as part of “The Red Dress Club”.This week’s assignment was to write a humorous ad, a la Craigslist or eBay, where you’re selling things after a breakup.


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